I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
