i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
