my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
