Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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