remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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