i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
we should paint friendship bongs
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