i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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