That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
