Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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