the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
