so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
