So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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