WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
