I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
