i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
