saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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