why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
