Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
