woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i think im in europe. pls send help
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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