We're facebook friends in real life
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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