I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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