Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
