I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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