Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
