he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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