For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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