your room smells of hookers.
And success
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
