I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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