Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
