you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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