That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
