I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
