Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
