He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
