You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
