News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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