with your own penis?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
