my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
