I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
