Your dad touched me again.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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