Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
