I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
