i just had sex bonerless
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
