Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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