your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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