Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There r osticjed everywhere
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
