Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My penis needs a shock collar
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
