dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
