Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
