God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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