a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
